Regardless of your personal views on homosexuality, I think we can all agree that this is unbelievably tragic, right? My heart breaks for this child, this family, and all of the other families who have suffered the same fate.
I'm not a parent (yet), unless you count my furry kids, and while Oliver & Shadow sometimes behave like bullies, I'm pretty sure the intent and the consequences are drastically different. Regardless, I may be speaking out of turn, as I don't have experience under my belt and cannot claim to have "been there" or "done that" - but parenthood is the goal here and I'm speaking from a place that wants the world to be a better place for my children.
Bullying has been around since the dawn of time. This is not a new concept. My own family will occasionally bring up references to times when I, myself, was a victim of bullying and how devastating it was for me and, perhaps moreso, for them to watch me go through. It's interesting how time glosses over those memories and I have long let them go. I am living proof that "it does get better" and someday you will be a stronger, more empathetic person for it. My family used these experiences as teaching opportunities -- encouraging me to recognize how words and/or actions made me feel and to take care in not causing others to feel the same way. I was (and am) lucky for their support and guidance. I, obviously, could have gone in a completely different direction with this.
Times have changed though. My experience with bullying was short lived and avoidable (it was also, comparatively, small potatoes). I went home at the end of the day and that was the end of it. Sure, it might happen again the next day, but there were at least 12 blissful hours of recovery. That is not how the world is anymore. Social networking has allowed kids to be in constant contact with each other, they are always plugged in and on top of that - the audience is vast. It's not just whoever is within hearing distance anymore. It's anyone, anywhere, in the world - really. How do you cope when you can't ever escape?
Kindness, and respect for things and people who are different from you are such important teaching points for parents. There's never an excuse for mean behavior. There's never an excuse to use your beliefs as weapons, cutting down those who you feel are less than you are. There's never an excuse to let fear dictate and excuse bad behavior. It is possible to fully believe that you are right, without destroying anyone and everyone who you believe to be wrong. We need to make it safe for our children to be who they are, and instill in them a healthy respect for the fact that that majority of people they meet in this life will not be like them. And that's okay. We aren't meant to be the same. And we're not meant to judge one another -- that job has already been claimed by someone with far more authority than any of us, and He does a pretty darn good job of it. Leave it to Him, and in the meantime, approach the world with an intent of kindness and generosity. Teach that to our children.
I don't know what the world is going to be like when we're at this stage of parenting. I don't imagine that bullies will be extinct then, and I imagine we're going to have to come up with our own plan for how to navigate those troubled waters -- protecting our child from bullies, and ensuring that our child is not a bully. Our plan, for now, is to lead by example.
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