Little Victories

Our Facebook page hit 150 likers today!  This was a super secret goal of mine that I didn't share with anyone!  I am thrilled, excited, and eternally grateful.

Five months ago, when we were sitting in that Minneapolis classroom learning about how adoption works, the time when we would be actively searching for a match seemed like some sort of distant future time that was always just vaguely "out there."  Todd and I kicked around the adoption idea for almost a year before we actually started to make it happen.  I have had the notion, in the back of my mind, for years that adoption might be what I was meant to do.  I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 17 years old, so by the time I met Todd, I'd had practically a lifetime to wrap my brain around the idea that I might not be able to conceive my own children.  I was ready to adopt almost immediately. I might have been happy adopting before we even tried to have children on our own.  As it was, the minute we hit a crossroads, I knew exactly which path I wanted to take. 

Todd, however, didn't have a lifetime to wrap his brain around the idea of not having biological children of his own.  I owed him that time.  We had several conversations over a longish period of time and we talked with adoptive families and researched exactly what it was we'd be getting ourselves into.  Eventually the desire for a child on the hip became greater than the desire for a child in the belly - for both of us - and off we went.  Our tale is relatively low on angst, although I won't go so far as to say it's without its fair share of sadness.  I don't think that this is a necessarily easy decision to make - for anyone - and even though it's something I feel called to do, something that I know is exactly the right decision for us, it's still a decision bursting with complicated emotions. 

We're ready to be parents.  We are excited about openness - a concept that scared the heck out of us at first, but which now seems like a gift and an incredible opportunity.  My family of origin is non-traditional so the possibilities of how to shape these relationships are endless to me.  We want to be respectful of boundaries and not come off as overly-enthusiastic, but the truth of the matter is that we're thrilled at the idea of building and nurturing these new relationships. 

We had the pleasure of having my dad, stepmom, and siblings visit this past weekend.  Six extra people were packed into this house - filling the bedrooms (minus the nursery, which is currently in a state of wallpaper removal madness) and the couch downstairs.  It was wonderful to spend time with them, it's not an opportunity we get very often.  We enjoyed catching up, playing Rock Band, and watching football.  The house was full and vibrant and alive with people.  When they left this morning, it felt too quiet.  I was sad that the bedrooms were empty again, that the house was silent.  I guess this is as good of a sign as any that we're ready to bring this house alive with happy baby noises and the pitter pat of children's feet.