I don't think I ever truly understood the value of a day, until I had this baby inside of me and suddenly every day makes a tremendous difference. These days, every return to work from my last doctor's appointment feels like a victory. We made it another day! I spend a lot of my time lately giving thanks. It seems we have a lot to be thankful for.
I read over my Thanksgiving entry from last year. Almost every thing I was thankful for then, I continue to be thankful for now - if not more so. It's unbelievable how much our lives have changed in one year - and even more unbelievable how much they're going to change again in the next year. It's almost impossible for me to wrap my brain around.
It's so easy to get bogged down in the fear and unrest of life. With all the changes come hundreds of unknowns that cause all kinds of anxiety and stress. Financial concerns, health concerns, state of the world concerns. "Oh dear Lord this baby has to come out of me somehow" concerns and "what in the name of God will we do if our child becomes goth" concerns. But this day is about putting those aside and focusing on all the hundreds of ways we have to be thankful. My heart is so thankful for all the ways that we have been blessed. Here's a few highlights:
I am thankful for Todd - every day, even on the days he makes me crazy. I'm thankful for his sense of humor that keeps me laughing and keeps me grounded in the midst of all this crazy change. I'm thankful for his patience and understanding, his concern and the gentle care he takes of me as my body changes, my hormones surge out of control, and my emotions take these crazy rollercoastery twists and turns throughout the day. I'm thankful for the dad he's going to be to Nerdlet, and the parenting partner he's going to be for me. I'm proud of the team we make and am so thankful that we are growing and strengthening as our family grows.
I am thankful for our families and our friends -- all of whom have shown us a tremendous amount of support first in our adoption journey, and now on this pregnancy journey. Sometimes it seems like they are more excited than we are (although that can't possibly be the case)! What an amazing network of love, security, and support we have been given. We are humbled and strengthened by the thoughts, prayers, enthusiasm, excitement, support, and love that has been shared with us - not only during this time in our lives, but always.
I'm still thankful for these big, goobery, slobbery dogs. My crotchety old man who tries to keep us all in line, and my goofy little girl who loves to snuggle, torture the crotchety old man, and sniff cat butt. These are our first babies, and they are good babies. There is still something magical about having a waggily tail greet you at the door every time you open it - even if you were only outside for 5 minutes. It seems that every reunion is a monumental deal for a dog.
And - okay, I guess I'm still thankful for the cats. Sometimes they are not so bad, and they've stayed out of the baby's stuff so far.
I'm thankful for my job, and the flexibility it affords me. I'm thankful for co-workers who have been through the last year of my life with me every step of the way and shown me nothing but encouragement, support, understanding, and a genuine wish for our well being. Everyone should be so lucky.
I'm thankful (so thankful) to be done with school. It took me longer than the average bear (that's a story for another post) but I finally tucked my head down and plowed through it. School officially ended at the end of October and I wrapped it up with a 4.0 GPA. My diploma should arrive sometime next month. It should go without saying how unbelievably proud I am of myself for this accomplishment, but also how thankful I am that I was able to do it when I did it, and that I did it well.
I'm thankful for Nerdlet. That probably goes without saying. I'm thankful for all the ways this baby has already changed our lives, and all the ways it's going to change our lives in just a few more weeks. I am thankful for every wiggle, nudge, flip, turn, poke, jab, bladder kick, and rib punch because it means my baby is growing and thriving in there. I'm thankful that my body has held out this long, better than I ever expected it to, better than anyone - it seems - ever expected it to. I'm thankful that Nerdlet passes every biophysical profile with an 8/8, that our fluid levels have held steady (and - as of this week - risen to more normal levels) and that everything else is currently looking okay. I'm thankful that Nerdlet has allowed me to experience this rite of passage. I was prepared to not have this and would have happily found motherhood through adoption, but I wouldn't trade the gifts that Nerdlet has given me for anything in the world.
It has been a tremendous year. We are making a tremendous life. It's not perfect, it never will be, but it's more than enough. My heart is so full to bursting with gratitude for all we have been given and all that's still to come. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
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