18 Weeks

Oh, right.  I was going to keep writing.

Here we go…

For some reason it is really hard for me to write about this.  There are a lot of reasons for this, but half the time I sit down to write and wind up deleting things 10 times before just abandoning it altogether, figuring it will come to me later. 
Here’s hoping now is later. J

The truth is that there isn’t a lot to report.  I am 18 weeks pregnant today, which means that this baby is almost half baked.  There have been a couple early bumps in the road – but nothing terribly alarming.  I took my first gestational diabetes test at 16 weeks due to my risk factors.  I failed the one hour test – although I initially thought that I had passed it.  When they called to tell me I failed, I didn’t take it very well.  In retrospect, I feel pretty bad for the people who were trying to schedule my next test – they had to have been completely baffled by my reaction.  Failing the 1 hour test is bad news, but it’s not HORRIBLE news, and it often doesn’t mean anything at all.  In fact, I passed the 3 hour test a week later.  Apparently I just barely passed it, but I passed it nonetheless so I guess – one hurtle down. 

I’ll get another one of these things in about 2 more months.    This is unappealing for several reasons – 1) I am not a fan of needles.  At my first test (the 1 hour) the guy missed my vein and went digging. I almost passed out and threw up simultaneously.  Luckily they got me right away at the second test, but I am forever traumatized (again, some more) by that first experience.  2) I do not tolerate the glucose solution well.  The first time I took it I thought maybe I was just reacting to the extremely hot temperatures outside.  The second time, I actually got to sit in the lobby for about 10 minutes before they called me back, so I knew the temperature in the room was comfortable.  About 10 minutes after I came out I was sweating like crazy and shaking.  I’m sure I looked like a crazy lady sitting out there in the comfortably air conditioned room, sweating profusely.  3) My blood sugar CRASHED at the 3 hour test.  It just completely bombed in that last hour.  So – pregnant, fasting, and now with impressively low blood sugar, it should go without saying that my next food choices weren’t exactly the best ones I’ve ever made.  I’m hoping that, since I know what to expect now, when I do this again I can prepare a little better to  avoid at least this one pitfall. 

My blood pressure was high at my last appointment.  Not alarmingly high, but higher than it should have been which of course set me into panic mode.  We’re monitoring it now.  It was normal that night when we took it at home, so who knows what was going on.  I could do with a little less drama, body.  Thanks.  I also got to hear the heartbeat for the very first time – that was pretty awesome.  My OB had a student with her that day, so she was the first one to try.  She was a little panicked when I told her that we’d never tried to hear the heartbeat before.  She assured me that I shouldn’t panic if they didn’t find it.  The baby is still very small and, as she said, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”  She wound up not being able to find it, but when my OB gave it a try she found it in 30 seconds.  It’s always a relief to get that “proof”.  Even though I think I’m feeling movement in there – the proof is still so reassuring.

I DO think I’ve felt some movement – it’s hard to say for sure, it’s nothing consistent yet, but there have definitely been some bubbles and taps and whirls that I’ve never felt before.  The tapping, in particular, makes me think that it’s the baby.  I am always quick to say that I’m not POSITIVE that it’s the baby, but I guess nobody can really prove me otherwise, so let’s go with it.  It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever felt – and I can’t wait for more pronounced movement.  I can’t wait for Todd to be able to feel it. 

That’s where we are in a nutshell.  I go in on July 30^th for the “big” ultrasound.  Much to the disappointment of almost everyone in the world, I think we are NOT going to find out what we’re having.  I love the idea of not knowing for sure, and frankly – we had made all these plans without knowing if we were going to wind up with a little boy or a little girl – and in that sense, nothing has really changed.  Either way, we’re going to be head over heels in love.  We already are.  So the rest is just frosting.  Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind on this, but know that any pressure we get just firms my resolve to not know.  I’m stubborn and difficult like that.